What are we working towards?
Attachment relationships are important. In some families, life events, circumstance, parental deficits/decisions or even outside influences including alienation can disrupt the relationship between parent and child. Restored relationships are an important goal along with learning relationship skills to use throughout our life of relationships. We all grow to determine what kind of relationship we want to have and how to navigate relationship challenges.
We parents are imperfect and just as we ask our children to grow and mature, we must ask it of ourselves. That is our first agreement- we will ALL grow.
Who is the client?
I have three really.
1. The child
2. The parent
3. The relationship between the two; the neurological wiring between two individuals. The relational attachment regardless of how well it is manifest right now.
The child is central and I know we all agree= deserves our protection and support. Their perspective rings loud. Increasing coping skills, healthy boundaries and relationship skills will benefit the child/teen/young adult in all future relationships.
What can you expect?
The structure and features of our work will be specifically directed to you family’s needs. Remember every child has their own childhood- so it may even look different if you have more than one child involved. I will get to know all sides and perspectives. We will work on moving towards the future. My hope is to support your attachment, address trauma, offer skill building, improve coping abilities in both you the parents and your child to enhance your relationship and repair damage incurred as a result of adverse situations.
After and during assessment, children will be seen individually. We will build understanding, coping strategies and work to meet their stated and unstated needs. Both parents understanding of the child’s adjustment will be important. Parents will be asked to do their work as well.
After assessment, addressing any trauma and building of resilience through coping skills training and addressing any parental deficit and need to change, we will then meet parent and child together.
Hopefully, we will have the cooperation of the non target parent. For the parent with an intact relationship with the child or the favored parent, we will work on changing any behaviors that promote distance from the other parent, helping the child rebuild relationship with your partnering parent through a variety of techniques. Your cooperation and engagement is vital to help you child heal and enjoy an integrated life experience.
We will all discuss and practice meaningful ways to help strengthen the bond and relationship in the family. We will partner in reminders of how to focus on your child’s needs and perspective. We will ask everyone to set goals and change. WE CAN ALL DO HARD AND HOPEFUL things- you are already doing this. YOUR CHILDREN CAN ALSO DO HARD THINGS when we equip them with skill and support.
What is the timeline?
There is no “method” or process for reunification so please do not ask me for a timeline or step by step process. I will keep everyone fully informed at each progression. This allows me to tailor my work to your needs.